Just out here Queensetting

     

Okay.  Waking up a woman in a man's world just makes you sigh...and if you are a black woman? Well, you just want to turn back over many days and hope you can just hit reset and try again the next day. It seems our black girl magical powers just get lost out here in the day-to-day living--often what we experience is so damn far from being magical. No one, not even our black male counter parts, understand the "intensity of intersectionality." We black women share the daunting task of being the walking and talking collision of racism and sexism. The fight to exist in our true essence has been ETERNAL and sometimes, just ridiculous.  I mean what other groups has to go to the Supreme Court just to wear the hair God gave us to the work place? It's dumb ish like that. Our beautiful hips, booties, and lips are coveted by many, but hated on us. You can't be too loud, too aggressive, too independent, too weak, too...freaking much! Our voices are suppressed, we're adulterized as young girls way before we can walk good, objectified and sexualized, and our beauty penalized. We go missing, we get killed, and we get cancelled with no one to lift our stories, fight our battles, or just to listen...BUT...the story of the black women goes beyond the struggle. I reject the narrative I described as the only one. We gotta lift our heads off the pillow, blink and wave the wand (even if it's raggedy--tape it up😃), and make the magic happen! I decided last year that I cannot do the "ism" and "ized" existence.  I wanted to embrace the queen in me and fight like hell for every black woman to see their inner queen.  I was struck by two articles when doing some research:  Black Women's Buying Power  and Black Women are the most Powerful Trendsetters. These articles didn't just say the magic exists--there is now the data to prove black women are influencers!  Now, more than ever, we need to activate our power as a trendsetters in the mainstream.
           So, my concept of a Queensetter was birthed last year! I wanted a revolution for black females (as a side note, most movements leave out the black woman, but I digress...). Nikki Giovanni and Angela Davis sat down with the ladies of GirlTrek back in May, and it was such a moment for me and other black women. My soror Nikki hit me in the head when she made the statement, "Know your audience. Stop looking for people who hate you to tell you you're pretty." Her statement was in response to the question regarding the significance of having The Miss Teen USA, Miss America, Miss World, and Miss Universe all be black. While were and still proud of the four women representing black women and breaking through barriers that have not allowed the world to love our beauty, we really didn't need pageants run by white industries to put a stamp of approval on black beauty.  We need to shout it out for ourselves! We don't have to break our backs to align with the new trends--we CREATE trends in music, fashion, beauty, entrepreneurship, politics--you name it. If we are going to be queens, then we need to get about our queen business and start queensetting out here in these streets. No more hiding, seeking validation, and accepting rejection and invisibility--we are divine beings on a collective mission to take over! My line is for all black women (really all women) to be empowered to BE THE TREND in all arenas of life!

           Thank you to my queensetting friends Rochelle, Alia, Lalisha (not pictured) and many more who are showing exactly what my quest entails--supporting each other to keep the crowns straight, the wand active, and lighting the way--they pushed my idea when it was just that. If you're ready to join the movement and be cute (gotta keep it cute), order your Queensetter gear here at: https://teespring.com/stores/soulsayer-inspiration and/or keep supporting the blog--I share my space with all my queens!

My Soul has a lot of mouth

My soul's been running her mouth for roughly 45 years lol.  Consequently, she has had to use me,  Shammah, as its mouthpiece, but I just have not cooperated. I've oppreSSED, suppreSSED, regreSSED, etc, to the point that I had the soul pi-SSED. She gave me the whole silent treatment--made me get my whole life togetha!

Real talk...I have been writing since I was child. I have had, I guess you can say, "gift" (I don't know what you call it--gift sounds so EXTRA?) for taking words to make meaning of what was going on around me. Now, I know the next words sound like a lie, but I was pretty quiet and somewhat introverted as child (hush, I was lol).  Now that we have neat words like "ambivert," I finally figured out why I need a day in bed after major social settings where I was the life of the party...it's recharging😆...Anyway, life took hold, and I started doing real grown-ish stuff like getting married.  Now, I am just going to say, marriage did not do a thing for my soul. Hey, just the facts. I pretty much put a muzzle on her for the sake of making my spouses happy (yeah, I jumped that broom twice--yeah, my soul has some serious tea on that🍵). I lost myself, and my soul retreated...she took a long nap and checked the heck out...my soul had channeled Usher and was ready for me "to sign those papers..." After my second divorce, she peaked her eye out and said, "You just going to act like this is normal?" I'm like, "Act like what?" She said, "the world is happening around you, and you're not adding much to it." I am dying--the rest of you is going to follow." You see, the soul, when you're writer, has to feed and be fed--my soul was starving. I was a walking, talking, functioning bunch of nothing 😔. My soul-less being was impacting my physical and mental health. I was just playing a woman who had it together. Usually, I could count on my soul to make sense of my world, but this time, she was malnourished--I had to get her to some buffets, you feel me? I took my soul on new adventures, started meeting new people, and trying new things. One particular adventure pimped slapped my soul and woke her. I was on a trip in Boston for the first time and sitting in the Cheesecake Factory.  I was rattling on about how I visited this radio station in Boston that I listened to on a regular and had the awesome moment of  Skyping with my 30-year old crush, the Mr. Ralph Tresvant (yes Rizz bae 😍).

I will tell you that story later, cuz baby that's a one heck of story that is still being written! Whew! I digress...I was sitting eating and telling my friend about the whole adventure that had just happened, and the conversation shifted to talking about favor and her saying how people don't understand they can't just latch to someone's favor--and I looked at her and said, "You can't walk in my favor." She said, "Now that's a sermon" and wrote it down--she is a minister for real lol.  She was like she had to preach that and advised I needed to write that down myself and share it...so I did, and it was like my soul jumped up and hit me in the jaw--I understood then, my soul has some opinions, wisdom, and general crap to get of her chest...and for many, I just happen to be able to articulate what their soul needs to say or digest.

I posted my quote--and behold--other people were feeling it. I started posting more thoughts little by little, and one particular quote caught the eye of a friend, Tauress, who said, "Let me put that on a shirt." My soul was on ready, set, go after it's long nap, and words just started flowing.

My soul, was like, "It's a bunch of sh#! (I promise my souls loves her Jesus, she just lacks polish lol) going on, and I ain't short on opinions, questions, and just real commentary." 

Here I am now, almost three years later, and I can't make my soul shut up lol. She needs supervision and structured environments cuz she cuts the heck up lol...so welcome to my soul's play area, so to speak 😁. Come in, sit back, and join in the fun--my soul has a lot mouth, and she's gotta be heard! #ItsmetheSoulSayer