The SoulSayer

The SoulSayer

Monday, 24 February 2020

My Soul has a lot of mouth

My soul's been running her mouth for roughly 45 years lol.  Consequently, she has had to use me,  Shammah, as its mouthpiece, but I just have not cooperated. I've oppreSSED, suppreSSED, regreSSED, etc, to the point that I had the soul pi-SSED. She gave me the whole silent treatment--made me get my whole life togetha!

Real talk...I have been writing since I was child. I have had, I guess you can say, "gift" (I don't know what you call it--gift sounds so EXTRA?) for taking words to make meaning of what was going on around me. Now, I know the next words sound like a lie, but I was pretty quiet and somewhat introverted as child (hush, I was lol).  Now that we have neat words like "ambivert," I finally figured out why I need a day in bed after major social settings where I was the life of the party...it's recharging😆...Anyway, life took hold, and I started doing real grown-ish stuff like getting married.  Now, I am just going to say, marriage did not do a thing for my soul. Hey, just the facts. I pretty much put a muzzle on her for the sake of making my spouses happy (yeah, I jumped that broom twice--yeah, my soul has some serious tea on that🍵). I lost myself, and my soul retreated...she took a long nap and checked the heck out...my soul had channeled Usher and was ready for me "to sign those papers..." After my second divorce, she peaked her eye out and said, "You just going to act like this is normal?" I'm like, "Act like what?" She said, "the world is happening around you, and you're not adding much to it." I am dying--the rest of you is going to follow." You see, the soul, when you're writer, has to feed and be fed--my soul was starving. I was a walking, talking, functioning bunch of nothing 😔. My soul-less being was impacting my physical and mental health. I was just playing a woman who had it together. Usually, I could count on my soul to make sense of my world, but this time, she was malnourished--I had to get her to some buffets, you feel me? I took my soul on new adventures, started meeting new people, and trying new things. One particular adventure pimped slapped my soul and woke her. I was on a trip in Boston for the first time and sitting in the Cheesecake Factory.  I was rattling on about how I visited this radio station in Boston that I listened to on a regular and had the awesome moment of  Skyping with my 30-year old crush, the Mr. Ralph Tresvant (yes Rizz bae 😍).
I will tell you that story later, cuz baby that's a one heck of story that is still being written! Whew! I digress...I was sitting eating and telling my friend about the whole adventure that had just happened, and the conversation shifted to talking about favor and her saying how people don't understand they can't just latch to someone's favor--and I looked at her and said, "You can't walk in my favor." She said, "Now that's a sermon" and wrote it down--she is a minister for real lol.  She was like she had to preach that and advised I needed to write that down myself and share it...so I did, and it was like my soul jumped up and hit me in the jaw--I understood then, my soul has some opinions, wisdom, and general crap to get of her chest...and for many, I just happen to be able to articulate what their soul needs to say or digest.

I posted my quote--and behold--other people were feeling it. I started posting more thoughts little by little, and one particular quote caught the eye of a friend, Tauress, who said, "Let me put that on a shirt." My soul was on ready, set, go after it's long nap, and words just started flowing.
My soul, was like, "It's a bunch of sh#! (I promise my souls loves her Jesus, she just lacks polish lol) going on, and I ain't short on opinions, questions, and just real commentary." 

Here I am now, almost three years later, and I can't make my soul shut up lol. She needs supervision and structured environments cuz she cuts the heck up lol...so welcome to my soul's play area, so to speak 😁. Come in, sit back, and join in the fun--my soul has a lot mouth, and she's gotta be heard! #ItsmetheSoulSayer